Yesterday was just a frustrating day. Like, nothing seemed to go as smoothly as planned and I just could not shake my awful, sad, frustrated, angry mood no matter what I did.
Work was just....awful. Horrible. Stressful. I've been a nanny for a long time and I have had some incredibly wonderful kids that I grew to love, even when they had their bad days with tantrums and such. But most of the time they were pleasures to be around and take care of. But not this time. I have never in my nearly eight years as a babysitter/nanny had a child who is so disrespectful, rude, and snotty. Yesterday was just incredibly bad. And I cried after bedtime because I was just so frustrated, which never happens. The last time work made me cry was 2005. I can't wait for this job to be over in five weeks. Sometimes I feel like counting down the days, but that might make it feel longer? Or something? I don't know.
Then there's my whole apartment situation. I need someone to take over my room from June until September and so far, no one is biting. I've been posting ads for a couple of weeks now and have been receiving nothing but spam emails in response. Seriously people, take my room! $500 per month (June will be prorated!), own bathroom, no deposit, gym, pool, what more could you ask for? Someone please take my room!
All I know right now is that I am so done. I am so ready to leave Davis and not come back for a long, long, long time. I don't even care that I'll be living in my dad's house (he's pretty cool), in a tiny bedroom that doesn't have a real closet. Because: I won't be paying rent, I'll be working a job (hopefully) that pays more, I'll have my friends, my family, San Francisco, and the ocean. I've complained about Marin in the past, but it still is home. I've lived there since I was eleven years old and even though it's kind of expensive and has bad traffic, it's home.
On the plus side, a couple of things made yesterday a smidge better: I officially started packing up my stuff. More will be done tomorrow, and I'm really excited. Also, I cleaned out my closet, which felt really good and ended up getting rid of a lot of stuff. Watch out friends, Mallory has lots of goodies for you to pick through! Then yesterday, when I got home from my awful day of work, this was waiting for me. I can't wait to read it!
So maybe things will get easier in these last few weeks in Davis. I hope. I try to "see the light at the end of the tunnel" whenever I get really frustrated, try to breath and realize that this will be over soon. And when that doesn't work, I go get a chocolate croissant and pretend I'm in Paris, which is only eight (!) months away.
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